It’s one of those questions that always comes up in friend circles, usually when everyone has had too much wine, or one of your friends is nursing the battle wounds of a heartache.
Do you believe in soulmates?
By definition, a ‘soulmate’ is your one-and-only person, destined for you by the moment you took your first sip of air. This match was meant to be your partner and no matter what direction life took, you were always going to run into one another. A nice thought in theory, but there are plenty of naysayers who don’t quite prescribe to the predisposed certainty of the universe. These so-called ‘pessimists’ might usually get a bad rep for being negative nancies (or neils) — but according to a new study, they might be nicer than hopeless romantics.
Here’s what went down: researchers examined what made people more likely to ghost on a date or a new, budding relationship. Setting participants into two groups — those who adopted destiny mindsets and those who weren’t believers — they examined their approach to the first stages of courting and loving. Those who subscribed to the notion that they have a soulmate looked for that ‘love-at-first-sight’ feeling, while the other camp was more likely to stick around to see how things shake out.
In other words: hopeless romantics go out on a first date, make an assumption and a decision about a person, and then leave them hanging if it didn’t fit the idea in their head. In fact, compared to those who aren’t Team Soulmate, nearly a quarter of these starry-eyed singles thought ghosting after two dates was acceptable. Even more surprising, 22 percent of them were a-okay with this tactic for putting a short-term relationship to a close, while 63 percent felt the same about a long-term affair.
Considering psychologists warn of the major impact ghosting has on our psyche and our self-confidence, turning your back and walking away from someone without a word isn’t a nice thing to do. And it’s definitely not the character trait associated with love-forward hopefuls. While this does give us a perspective on how people view the world and relationships, it could be comforting to know that if you’re ghosted — you probably would have never been on the same page as that bachelor or bachelorette anyway.
Boo-hoo — and next, please.