Tune in to — literally — any movie or TV show and the same ‘ole story will play out. Man wants to have sex. Woman isn’t feeling it. Man gets frustrated. Woman eventually decides she wants to. And boom-shack-a-lak. Considering much of the conversations surrounding gender roles are being challenged and transformed these days, the dynamic of sex within a long-term relationships is no different.
In fact, as younger generations accept casual sex as a norm, once they commit to a monogamous duo, what it takes to get ‘em in the mood has shifted, according to new research from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology. They’ve found that while, sure, men initiate sex three times as often as women do within a couplehood, there’s one huge, important factor on what makes intercourse more likely:
They contribute this to a few — interesting — aspects. Since women who are entering committed relationships these days are more likely to have experience a no-strings-attached affair, they are able to separate the physical from the emotional. In other words: if you leave the garbage in the apartment all day and it stinks up the place, that doesn’t necessarily mean your lady will use it as an excuse for not getting jiggy with it. In fact, if she’s in the mood, she could be more likely to be angry — and still have sex — because she is actively distinguishing between carnal desires and her feelings of love.
But — and this is a big but — this is only true if you remain passionate.
As researchers shared your level of passion could make or break how many times you’re stripping down to your birthday suit. “Passion is actually the only one of these factors that matters. We didn’t find any association between any of the other aspects and how often people have sex in couple relationships,” they shared in their academic findings.
Bottom line? Don’t skip the foreplay, the flowers or any of the moves. They’re not only important — they’re required.