When I was single, one of my happily-married best friends jokingly said “You’ll know you’ve met your match when you date someone you look like.” I shrugged her off — even though her and her husband have a striking resemblance. That is until, I did in fact, meet my partner — and low and behold — we definitely have similar features. (Minus the fact he’s a full foot taller than I am.)
The old belief that at our core we are basically narcissists, and thus, like to look at spitting images of ourselves, isn’t too far from the truth. At least, according to a few studies. One, conducted by mega dating site eHarmony in 2017, found that people said ‘yes’ to those who shared their interests and hobbies — but also who sort-of-kind-of looked like them, too. Another study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin reported that half of participants found themselves drawn to faces that featured hidden composites of their own features. These participants also tended to prefer the opposite-sex parent — which could suggest we are attracted by genetics.
Weird? Yeah, a little — but is it accurate?
To test out the theory yourself, head to your dating app of choice (or whichever one you opened up most recently). Go through your matches and focus on the T-zone of your date’s face. (Psst: this is the forehead, the nose, lips and chin — just like the letter!) Now, compare to your Facebook profile photo. Are they the same? Or at least, somewhat proportional? More likely than not, you probably will see a handful of look-alikes.
If you don’t, you may start to match your partner’s features if you wait long enough. According to a University of Michigan psychologist who looked at wedding day and 25 anniversary photos of couples, the longer they were together, the more they started to resemble one another. While a little creepy, there’s something to be said about having shared life experiences that induce stress. And the fact that if your partner gets a spray tan, Botox or starts wearing certain clothes, you value their opinion and could follow suit.
If you want to find love — go find your doppelganger. Or at least, a close-enough match.