One hundred years ago, we mailed letters to our lovers, eagerly awaiting the next exchange. Decades ago, we prayed over answering machines, hoping the person we were crazy about was equally as mad about us. In recent years though, expressing how we feel isn’t only a verbal challenge but a thumb game, too. Like or not, texting is a new way for couples to communicate—especially when they aren’t sitting right next to one another, Netflixing-and-chilling. As dating expert Chris Vitale puts it, cell phones have transformed the way we banter, and essentially, warped our sense of ‘staying in touch.’ “In this era, cell phones are ingrained in the lives of most people, to the point where they cannot function without pressing their noses into the screen at all hours of the day…. Text messaging now dominates how we talk with each other,” he explains. “With this in mind, texting is crucial for modern relationships.”
Since many sentiments can get lost in translation, if you’re having a serious chat, you’ll want to ensure you meet face-to-face or dial up your partner. However, as a way to foster intimacy and build confidence in your relationship, a good-night text (not sext…we’ve got that covered elsewhere) can go a long way.
Text messaging now dominates how we talk with each other. With this in mind, texting is crucial for modern relationships.”
If you’re not sure on what to say—or more so, how to say it—here are expert-recommended way to tell that gal or guy you’re crushin’ on to sleep well:
Text to him: “I appreciate how you…”
Even outside of romantic connections, knowing someone is thankful for how you contribute to their life is essential. Vitale shares men need to feel accepted—and appreciated—by their partner in order to have a fulfilling relationship. If they feel like their gestures are going unnoticed or being taken for granted, they’ll clam up—and not express their true selves. “Nothing will end a day better than acknowledging something good or helpful a man has done that day. This could be advice he gave about how to deal with a difficult co-worker or how he helped with chores,” Vitale explains.
Text to her: “You inspire me to make the best of everyday.”
There’s something different about that gal you’re dating, and even if you can’t put it into words quite yet, you love how much she is teaching you and encouraging you to be a better version of yourself. When you let her know how she’s impacting you, it’s sure to warm her heart before bedtime. “Many women suffer from low self-esteem and insecurities. Having someone, especially a partner, declare respect and admiration—even in a text—will ensure empowerment and keep a relationship strong and moving forward,” Vitale explains.
Text to him: I can’t wait to fall asleep and dream of you.
Cheesy? For sure. Sweet? Duh. Executive editor and founder of CupidsPulse.com, Lori Bizzoco explains this text message is a great way to say goodnight to someone you care about, and have been dating for a while. In the chaos of the everyday shuffle, words of affection are often lost, and taking a second to let him know you’ll be thinking of him will make him feel connected to you.
This text message is a great way to say goodnight to someone you love and have been in a relationship with for awhile. You’re letting him know just how much you care about him and assuring him that you’ll see him in your dreams.
Text to her: “You’re the first person I want to see when I wake up. Hope you sleep great and I’ll see you in my dreams.”
Swoon! Though healthy relationships allow both partners to live full lives outside of one another, you also make your number one a major part of your life. And thoughts. Every woman wants to know she’s top of mind for the guy she’s with, and this text message gets it across in a thoughtful, romantic way. “He’s admitting how much he cares about her in this text by making her top priority the next day.
Text to him: “You make me feel so happy.”
Even if you’ve dated more than your fair share of duds, when you meet a quality man, he’ll want to go above and beyond to make you feel happy and loved. Even this stellar guy will worry about being too much or missing the mark on what makes you feel great. When you reassure him he’s sweeping you off your feet, you build his confidence. “Of course, a woman should only text about feeling happy if she is being truthful and not because she simply wants to please him. If happiness is the case, women should not be afraid of expressing their gratefulness,” Vitale advises.
Text to her: “I cannot wait to talk to you tomorrow.”
Sadly, ghosting is not only a thing—but a common dating trends. When a woman is left hanging when she thought a could-be relationship was going the long mile, it makes her a bit gun shy or believing a guy is being honest with his feelings. This is where giving her validation will ensure her affection continues. This text hints to commitment—even in the short term—allowing her to rest easy. “With new relationships and men afraid of commitment, discussing the future is uncomfortable and not always done at the right time. If a man is on the fence of considering a future with his partner, something as little as ‘I look forward until tomorrow’ eases the worry of the future while still staying, somewhat, in the moment,” Vitale explains.
Text to him: ‘Miss you!’
Perhaps he travels for work frequently. Or your jam-packed calendar has kept you from sharing a bed this week. Whatever the reason, you miss him, don’t him? Bizzoco explains this sweet, simple and straightforward text will go a long way. “It packs a lot of meaning and gives your partner a comforting sense of how you feel about him,” she adds. If you are missing—ahem—other parts of him, don’t be afraid to let him know that, too.
Text to her: “I didn’t want this night to end without me telling you that falling in love with you, is the best part of my day. Sweet dreams babe.”
Those first few months of being together are tough to replicate—lots of time together, intense talks, flirtations and dates. You can’t always express exactly what’s going on in your head and heart, but you can try. Dating expert Lori Vajda says this text works because you’re telling her you’re in love with her (or you’re getting there anyway), and reminding her that you’re here, you’re not going anywhere. This focus on right now—with the hint of the future—builds your foundation.
One last thing: Send a selfie!
Ah, as the saying goes, pictures are worth a thousand words. Vitale says both men and women should consider sharing photos as a nightly routine. “It could be selfies or something that went on during their work days. Regardless of what is sent, sharing pictures indicates a partner wants his or her significant other in every moment of his or her life,” he notes. “Before bed is a perfect time to do this, so you and your partner’s last thoughts of the day are of each other.”