For most modern singles, it’s hard to imagine a time before online dating apps. But as technology advances with the hope of making finding loves a flick of the finger, things can get creepy… fast. Or how should we put it? Stalkerish.
As more and more apps integrate social media — like Facebook, Spotify and Instagram — it makes it easier to find people. In fact, if you ask anyone who has made their rounds on Bumble, Tinder or any other app, and they will likely admit to Googling their date before meeting up with them in person. This may be common practice these days but the latest dating trend, ‘Tindstagramming’ takes things to another level in terms of unwanted (or unwarranted) attention.
You can probably guess from the name, but this is when a person you didn’t swipe on Tinder (or another app) finds your Instagram and then ‘slides into your DMs.’ It’s a way of working around the dating site itself — and is a pretty gross invasion of privacy. Since you already said ‘nadda’ to him or her once, searching for your personal profiles online is a form of cyberstalking that’s technically punishable by law. Luckily anyone you aren’t following will show up in your ‘other’ folder on Instagram, so you probably won’t know right away.
Even so, the trend challenges daters to well, check themselves. After all, how many times have you searched endlessly for someone before you met them IRL? And perhaps, you have even found someone on Instagram and messaged them?
As tempting as it is to find every little thing about your match before you meet them — or to ease the sting of rejection by trying again — the greatest lesson of the dating game is patience. Considering generations before us didn’t even have the ability to text, much less use the internet, before a first date, you probably can muster up the courage to sit pretty.
Instead of stressing about who your date could be and attempting to make assumptions based off world-wide-web data, we suggest investing in the meet-up planning. Find the coolest, hippest bar in town. Or strategize your conversation topics and come up with some engaging convos that dig deep into your match’s character.
Or, you know, tune-in to what you should be doing that you’re likely avoiding… working. Your boss will thank you.