It’s true that people love giving their opinion and spreading their wisdom onto others, even if that said wisdom isn’t particularly wise. And the Internet has certainly only created a breeding ground for the spreading of this kind of material, through meme-worthy relationship quotes and especially through advice shared on sites like Reddit. In fact, when it comes to advice about love, you can pretty much guarantee that you’ll find the worst relationship advice out there on Reddit, and pretty much anyone willing to vent about anything to you. “People, particularly strangers who are empowered by being on the other side of a computer screen, are quick to offer their opinion, particularly when it comes to relationship advice,” says Laurel House, dating and relationship expert and host of the Man Whisperer podcast. “Regardless of their expertise or state of mind, others offer their opinions with such certainty that it’s difficult to doubt it, especially when you are in a vulnerable space and looking for advice.”
While a sounding board is great and talking through problems and experiences can help bring clarity, House admits that talking to the wrong people at the wrong time and taking their insight for fact as opposed to opinion can not only steer you wrong, but can completely derail a really good thing. “When it comes to seeking dating and relationship advice, it’s Important to first consider the source, and next consider the current headspace of the source,” she says. “Take their opinion as an opinion, not fact and listen to your gut first, since only you truly know the situation you’re in, not them.”
Regardless of their expertise or state of mind, others offer their opinions with such certainty that it’s difficult to doubt it, especially when you are in a vulnerable space and looking for advice.
She also recommends that people don’t immediately act on the Reddit relationship advice they read. “Take a beat—at least a day, to digest and process their insight before deciding whether you want to integrate it into your own, discard it all together, or alter your opinion based on the light that theirs shed.”
Here, she shares some of the worst Reddit relationship advice she has ever seen and explains why you should pay it zero mind.
“Just don’t talk about your ex” — MITSF
According to House, you should totally talk about your ex, as it can help set the standard of expectation for your future. She even recommends mentioning your ex with a future partner, so long as you both reveal information and share stories. “Specific and strategic dating questions will let you know who they are, how they became that person and what their dating purpose is—all of which you want to know on a first date,” she says. “The most important thing is to use your relationship with an ex as a springboard for positive conversation, discussing some of the mistakes you both made and what life lessons you’ve learned as a result.”
“One rule I had with my last girlfriend, that I’m proud we stuck to, was ‘Don’t go to bed angry.’” —Aldairion
Different people process feelings, frustrations and anger differently, House points out. “Some may need closure and agreement at the end of the night, but other people need time to separate themselves from the fiery emotions in order to come back to their calm feelings,” she says. “If the two people in a relationship have different needs when it comes to argument resolution, it can be difficult for both to feel satisfied the decision to or not to go to bed while still upset.” What is best, in her opinion, is to have a non-emotional conversation about how you feel and why you feel the need to resolve arguments in the way that you prefer. Also, she recommends being honest as to which way, whether is more comfortable for you or not, is more productive. “The problem is that for some people, sleeping on the argument makes them fester on the feelings, and those feeling turn into irrational emotions, while, for others, their feelings turn to be too emotional in the moment, and they need time to calm down and remove themselves from the emotions,” she adds.
“’Not treating her right,’ in my experience that is usually ‘your not pampering me and buying me things’ if that’s the case dump her, as for the other guy sounds like she wanted to be with him (she’s going to lie about it regardless). Therapy is a huge waste of money especially over something so small, I’d say move on.”—Hind_Sight_20_20
House believes that therapy, or talking with a relationship coach or therapist, can be very effective when it comes to gaining a healthy perspective in a relationship. “Sure, your partner might truly be acting like a jerk right now, but if you cut the line just because someone else who really doesn’t know the details of your relationship said you should, you might quickly regret the decision, miss them, and end up sending a ‘I made a mistake, please take me back’ text shortly thereafter,” she says. “Now you are risking being in an even worse place with the relationship.”