To talk about politics — or not to talk about politics. That is the question of the dating scene heading into the 2020 presidential election year. Long story short, but if you ask experts, it’s a tricky topic — and can be a slippery slope. Especially since we can’t all be as funny — or punny — as the writing staff for Seth Meyers.
In a deep dive conducted by GQ recently, outwardly stating your affiliation (or your incredible disdain for the other party) on a dating app could be a difficult foot to begin any sort of dynamic, whether romantic or otherwise. Even if you would never date someone who supported a candidate that you fundamentally disagree with, there’s a chance even those who share your beliefs could be turned off by your tone, writings or well, intensity.
How come? Our outward display of our values — politically or otherwise — demonstrate how we view ourselves and our social identity, according to the GQ writer, Rainesford Stauffer. At the end of the day (or when we delete those apps once-and-for-all), the hope is to find someone you can build a life with — even if you aren’t 100 percent aligned on everything.
However, the quest after the perfect match — even in how we vote — continues.
“Due to the substantial importance placed on political identity, even seemingly benign signposts can take on a political bent. Some people I talked to for this story admitted they side-eye pictures featuring guns or someone decked out in hunting garb, interpreting them less as snapshots of a hobby and more as a proclamation of a potential match’s feelings about the Second Amendment,” she wrote. “Others confessed they bristled at pictures featuring ‘pussy hats,’ which have come to be synonymous with Women’s Marches, or phrases like #MeToo appearing in men’s bios, even if feminism and women’s rights were causes they considered important themselves.”
Some of the daters she profiled admitted feeling put off if someone wrote vehemently against the current president or a potential candidate, since they found it a negative perspective rather than a positive one. Some women only looked for dudes who were on their same page — or found themselves asking up front about their views just to make sure they didn’t waste their time.
The feature went on to report on the findings of sociologist Dr. Jess Carbino who studied what was most likely to incite a reaction — a swipe or a message — on popular apps like Tinder or Bumble. What she found was folks are more likely to swipe “nope” on someone who didn’t vote how they did, while knowing someone’s shared political affiliation didn’t make them more likely to swipe “yes.”
The bottom line? As with most things in dating — ya gotta do you. If it’s very important to you to only date someone who supports what you do, then write it on your profile. Though it may deter some people away, they might not be the types of people you’d like to date anyway. But if it can wait until date two to debate bills and senate seats — try getting to know the person first — and then their ballot.