If you find yourself mulling over that friend-of-a-friend from high school’s latest ode to her husband and wondering why you’re still single — we have a way to cure the green-eyed monster. While envy never really wore well on anyone, a recent study suggests any couple that’s constantly updating their profile about a romantic date isn’t as happy as those who are silent.
In other words: You probably shouldn’t be jealous of the pals who are splashing their relationship all over Facebook or Instagram. It’s the ones who rarely share info or details that are worthy of your envy.
According to a slew of publications who recently covered this topic — from Business Insider to Inc — there are a few reasons why happy twosomes refrain from sharing (or oversharing) digitally. Here, a few interesting tidbits from their research:
When you’re having a good time, you forget to take photos.
Think about the last time you had a fun dinner with your closest circle of friends. You laughed about the old times, caught up on your respective lives and probably drank more than your fair share of brews. How many photos did you take? Probably, one at the very end, when someone suggested a group shot. Couples who are enjoying one another’s company don’t need to highlight the play-by-play. Instead, they prefer to stay in the moment.
When you’re secure in your couplehood, you don’t need the validation.
Plenty of research has documented the damaging impact of social media habits that turn into borderline obsession. This post only received 100 likes, while this one took home 200 — why? If you don’t share a photo the moment your partner received the flowers you sent her — were they even delivered at all? Here’s the deal: couples who are always going on-and-on about their dates, their updates, their affection aren’t seeking reassurance from one another. Rather, they are hoping to feel more secure in their connection, thanks to likes and comments. A couple who knows they’re made for each other? They don’t need the double-tap hearts.
When you’re going through tough times, you don’t air it on Facebook.
What happens in your hornet’s nest… stays in your hornet’s nest. Or at least, that’s the rulebook healthy, happy couples abide by. Fighting is a normal, expected part of pairing your life with another human, but when you’re mad at your S.O., you don’t need to let your 3,500 Instagram followers know about it. Or, even worse, poll ‘em on who is right or wrong. Couples who bring in other people to their intimate conversations or debates — whether online or otherwise — don’t feel like they have tools to navigate issues internally.
Next time you’re in a relationship, remember these signs of fulfillment and dissatisfaction. The most important connection you have is between you and your number one — not your klout following.