If you happen to have a best friend who is a girl, ask to check out her dating apps. What you’ll find will likely blow your mind, considering she definitely has at least ten times the number of matches that you do. Most women report being matched with nearly everyone they swipe ‘yes’ to while men don’t have quite as much luck. They don’t need permission, but based on pure numerical data, this allows women to be pickier. And thus, you can expect they’ll be judging more than your photos, but what you write on your profile, too.
According to recent research from Western Sydney University, women wanted men who were as smart—if not smarter—than they considered themselves to be. And since dating apps only provide a limited space to demonstrate your ability to hold a convo, partake in witty banter or introduce your suitors to a new school of thought—those bite-sized paragraph intros mean more than you realize.
If you’re not exactly a verbose human in terms of writing, this could add some pressure to your online mingling strategy. Before you start to sweat and go on a deleting binge, allow us to make some suggestions. These tips will ensure you come across as the brilliant bachelor you really are—even if you can’t exactly put it into words.
Use Grammarly for Grammar.
If you’re a marketing executive who relies heavily on your copywriter, a real estate broker who is better at schmoozing than scribbling, or just a good ‘ole fashioned math person—even a few sentences can be intimidating. Especially if it has been a hot second since you’ve completed a grammar lesson, remember… there’s an app for that. Or rather, a Google Chrome plugin that can check your sentences for periods, word uses, hyphens and so on. It’s free to use—and could save you on embarrassment.
Phone a friend.
Our closest pals know us better than anyone else, and they’re more than willing to give us a playful hard time for our weaknesses. If your friend knows articulating your smarts isn’t your strong suit, as if they’ll write your bio for you. After all, the people who love us—for better or for worse—are sometimes better equipped to highlight our shining qualities than we are. Perhaps if you throw in a few beers or a bottle of whiskey, they’ll even respond to some matches for you.
Seek common interests.
Sure, you might be intrigued by her blue eyes. Or the way it looks as if she’s traveled around the world—and then some. But what will keep you interested is how well you can past time together, doing nothing and talking about everything. When you’re poking through profiles, look out for topics that you can speak to. These shared points of interest will make it easier to tap into your wealth of knowledge, since hey, you’ll be coming from more than your brain—but your heart.
Get offline ASAP.
Too much time thumbing through responses can set up major disappointment in dating. Will you like her laugh? Will you be able to speak freely over an overpriced bottle of vino? Is it going to click? Making typos and having phrases taken out of context can end a could-be relationship in its tracks, so it’s better to get offline sooner than later. If after a half hour of messaging, you’re still intrigued, suggest coffee or drinks and let your intelligence shine through IRL.