In what definitely feels like sensational journalism, one woman is going viral for her post-divorce healing process. But while the headline is definitely jaw-dropping — the underlying message is important. Here’s the scoop: in a feature in Daily Mail, SHESAID global editor Nadia Bokody shared the personal details of how she went on a sex spree following a major breakup. As her marriage of seven years came to an end, she started having casual sex with strangers.
In fact, she estimated she would have sex would up to six men a week, sometimes getting it on up to seven times a day, and a few times, had multiple sex partners in the same 24-hour span. In the beginning, this was a liberating experience for her, allowing her to explore her fantasies and her body in a way that she hadn’t before. She described the early stages as a time when she felt alive, like herself and happy: “‘Letting go of everything I knew about love, lust, and sexual gratification in the strange security of transient lovers who knew nothing of me or my history allowed me to find my way back to myself – before I was a wife, a girlfriend, or even someone’s fling. And that was the real pot of gold at the end of my sexual rainbow.’”
But while everyone gets through a tough heartbreak in different ways, her over-active sex life started to take a toll on her psyche. What started as many flings to reignite her fire drove her straight into full-blown sex addiction. She couldn’t concentrate at work — and even left for a ‘break’ one day to get it on with a man she just met online. She knew something was off — but it wasn’t until she found a steady boyfriend that she made a lifestyle change.
A visit with a therapist led to a formal diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, which has a common trait of hypersexuality. Today, she receives weekly treatment at an outpatient facility and is part of a group called Co-Dependents Anonymous. Though many other forms of addictions are frequently discussed — like drugs or alcohol — sex isn’t one that’s as accepted. Even so, many of the ‘highs’ and ‘lows’ are the same, according to Bokody. In an interview, she described how it impacted her life: “It can be quite toxic for a relationship because it is like a bottomless pit and it was impacting my life to the point I wasn’t able to function. When it comes to the point where it’s impacting your ability to go about your life is when it’s really an issue.”
If you find yourself unable to control sexual urges, take a moment to pause and think about your motivations. There may be a bigger issue that needs your attention — and would make you feel more fulfilled and loved. After all, while one night stands and having sex multiple times a day seems exciting, if it leaves you feeling empty and lost, it’s time to take action.